The previous Great NEWS post shared Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Part 9 – Preschool Parenting Challenges and today we continue the series with Part 10 – Youth Parenting Challenges. Peak parenting for youth involves dealing with the merging of a multitude of activities associated around family, friends, fun, school, social situations, society and sports. Parents will benefit the most when they learn to treat their youth as a young adult versus a kid. Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems – Part 10 will cover the basic of elementary school to the pre-teen years.
A youth is past preschool and usually going to school full time or is home schooled. It is important to maintain and sustain an even stronger foundation for all activities, communications, guidelines, rules and values. It is essential for both parents to be on the same sheet of music when it comes to decisions, details and discipline for a youth. Parents must coordinate and cooperate as a unit to provide a unified team raising a youth to avoid unnecessary conflicts, confusion and confrontations.
Divorced parents and single parents often face a bigger challenge with a youth because there are often step parents, in-laws or grandparents involved in the child raising process. These situations require additional communication, cooperation and support from the family, friends and extended sphere of influence to provide additional guidance and supervision. Youths require strong role models and support systems to help deal with the multitude of academics, activities, athletics and attitudes that influence their life.
The youth years typically cover 1st through 6th grade. Youth go through a giant transition as they enter the private or public education system which involves a full day away from home and in school. How well these first few years go has a great deal of influence for the rest of their life.
Some parents choose home schooling or private schools to help build a stronger foundation for education. For those that choose public schools it may be helpful to supplement with a more enhanced home based program to provide a well rounded experience.
Youth Parenting Challenges
Young children can become anxious and frustrated with school and teachers. Behavior patterns, class size, communication skills, and personality differences can easily cause a young student to feel less enjoyment and fun for learning at school. Parents can help their student by being proactive with the school and teacher. When a parent projects a state of being calm, comfortable and confident it is easier for a child to do likewise. When a child is feeling afraid, shy or withdrawn it makes school and social situations more of a challenge.
If a young student has issues with bullying, homework, learning, reading, school, self conscious, speaking up, self confidence or teachers you can help deal with this using EFT. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is great for helping children and their parents deal with emotional blockages and upsets. It is also great for easier learning and less stress around school situations. EFT helps children learn easier, faster and with enhanced recall.
Parents are a crucial part of the learning experience and must not delegate the education process to the school system and teachers. Parents must play an active and leading role in the students learning needs and progress. Children need lots of encouragement and support to help them navigate the learning process at home and school. Too many parents depend on the school system to be the primary driving force for a child’s inspiration and learning
Many parents today are guilty of allowing the computer, DVD player, internet and television of playing too significant a role in child’s daily routine. While there are many great programs for young students it is very important to emphasize the fun of human interaction for learning during the early years. It is too easy for the parent to take a back seat and allow technology to take the lead. Young students need lots of close supervision and support to enhance their school experiences.
It is vital to help young students to establish great behaviors, habits and routines to support their school based education. Students need help with homework, organizational and time management skills. Teaching these early on is one of the best things you can do to create life long learning dedication and discipline.
Helping your students learn that distractions like chatting, music, phones, radio and TV can impair their ability to learn and retain information. Everything we hear, say and see can influence our attention and intention towards learning. Most music and singing is distracting and disturbing to the learning process. The exceptions can be baroque, classical music, instrumental music (like flute, harpsichord and piano), relaxation music and sounds of nature like gentle rain, waves and water sounds. Steven Halpern has some nice music for accelerated learning and relaxation.
It has been researched and reported that all learning happens when we are in an enhanced learning state or learning trance. There are many ways to utilize a learning trance such as deep breathing, EFT tapping, eye movements, gentle drumming, physical movement, repetition, rhythm integration, rhyme, singing, story telling, trance induction and visual triggers. For more information you may want to look more into EFT and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Parents can help their young student by offering a wide array of learning environments. Excellent activities to enhance learning include car trips, cards, board games, dancing, field trips, foreign language, gymnastics, local libraries, museums, music classes, reading programs, performances, sports, travel, vacations and video cameras to help encourage a love of learning in young children. Basically anything you can do to expand their attention and awareness to the wide world of possibilities.
Many students lack enough physical activity to be fit and healthy. This can harm their ability for learning. Walking and yoga are great activities for children to engage in since it will increase their fitness, energy and oxygen levels.
Meditation is great for calming a hyperactive body and mind. Combined with yoga it is a great way to help your student learn to be more attentive and calm.
It is so easy these days for busy children and busy parents to buy processed foods like cereals, burger, fries and pizza, drink sugary juices, sodas and sports drinks, eat on the go, grab unhealthy fast foods and snacks and skip meals altogether. Eating healthy and nutrient dense whole foods are essential for health and learning. You must do your part to see that the children are fed well at friends, home and school or you both will pay a hidden price that can include behavioral, emotional, health, learning and psychological issues.
There is a big difference between encouraging your child to advance and progress and pushing them to far and too fast. This can include reading, spelling and writing too soon. This can result in a young child acting and looking like a young wizard while at the same time they are missing out on certain foundation skill sets and stages of development. Pushy parents may think they are doing their children a favor when in reality they are allowing the children to become out of balance in other areas of development and fall behind.
One of the best examples is a child that can read and write and yet lacks the basic motor skills to kick, run and throw a ball. What child wants to be a big brain without having the balanced body that is coordinated and fit to support and transport that big brain? Sooner or later a child that lacks the physical agility, dexterity and flexibility will face a number of challenges and frustrations when they are unable to play with their peers on a fairly equal level. Many children are frustrated for life when they are unable to perform basic physical skill sets and sports.
Overly pushy parents often find themselves pushing their children to perform in activities that they themselves as a child did not do well in. While their intention may be good their forcing mechanism may hurt the child’s identity and self esteem. They may not realize you did or did not perform well at an activity and feel frustrated and upset because they do not show the same enjoyment or enthusiasm for the activity. They cannot relive your childhood for you no matter how hard they try.
Many parents push their children to be too competitive in organized sports such as baseball, basketball, football, soccer, tennis and volleyball which can have numerous pitfalls. While organized sports can add lots of value for a child too many times the critical or shouting parent can disrupt and embarrass the child. Rather than a fun activity it becomes pressure and work to perform up to the parent’s demands and thus a source of annoyance and frustration.
Young students need a wide range of activities to engage in and experience. This gives them time to develop new skills and success with. The a wide range of activities to enhance their expansion and exposure the more things they can add to their base of references and resourcefulness. We all expand and grow when we are given the opportunity to sample a wide variety of choices and options to select from.
Some of the main goals for young students are providing a wide range of activities and achievements to build their ego and self esteem. Super star students need a wide range of skill sets and support to develop their full potential. At this stage of the game it may be better to be a jack of all trades than a master of one. They have plenty of time to find their passion and purpose so giving them a wide range of experiences helps them have more choices. Communications, confidence, creativity, determination, drive, imagination, play, persistence, resourcefulness, self image, social skills, tenacity and versatility rather than academics accreditation and advancement will better serve them longer term.
Helping your child develop a healthy ego and identity is critical to their success in school and life. When parents are lacking in their own level of confidence and self esteem it will affect the children as well. A healthy self image and identity will help your child expand and grow to their full potential.
Pets are a common issue that come up for parents with young children. Often times a child falls in love with a kitten or puppy and begs you to let them bring it home. The decisions you make can have a big impact on your child’s and your level of strain and stress for years to come. Pets are in many ways like having another child. They require food, medical attention and toilet duty. If you are feeling over loaded now than getting a pet may not be advisable. Either pet can bite, jump on or scratch the child and have a long term impact. Pets also die or get injured and this can affect your child as well.
Small pets such as birds, fish, lizards and gerbils may be an easier option to see how responsible your child is and will do with a pet. Allow and encourage your young child to do the majority of the chores associated with a pet to instill a sense of responsibility. Teaching children how to take care of another creature and be responsible is a great gift to give them as long as you invest the energy and time to help them learn what is needed.
During the second seven years of a child’s life their self esteem, self image and self worth should be well established. Now is a great time to teach them additional comparative evaluation skills, goal setting and time management skills. Once a child is moving along in primary school they should be developing a healthy sense regarding making choices and understanding consequences. This is the time to really hone in on always telling the truth and the consequences of all and any lies which robs them of dignity and integrity. Children must feel safe to talk with you about anything and tell you the truth about what is bothering them or going on in their lives.
Divorced, single and separated parents have an extremely challenging situation to make sure the child is not caught in the middle of negative feelings, power plays, triangles and upsets. It is very important you not allow your child to feel the pressure of: being punished for telling the truth, blamed for the parent’s issues, choosing between adults, disappointing a parent, loosing love, risking their health or safety or taking sides. It is tough enough being a child with the burden and guilt of parents that are dealing with relationship issues.
Dealing with finances and money is another important lesson that many parents are not addressing. This sets unrealistic difficulties and expectations on children and parents alike. Parents should be sharing with their young children the meaning and purpose of money. Let them know it is based on adding value and is an exchange of energy and time. Money does not grow on tress and there is not an endless supply of money to buy the constant and never ending supply of bling, crap, gadgets, stuff and trinkets that stores are promoting. We should teach children that there is enough money to go around for the essentials in live and to have more than enough freedom of choices to have what is needed to me their essential needs.
This is a good time to teach them what is and is not acceptable when it comes to asking for allowance, clothes, foods, gifts, parties, phones and toys. Emphasis should be placed on the aspects of family and life that lead to being happy, healthy and in harmony with life without being a slave to the material world. “The Story Of Stuff” is a great website to help you share how materialistic the world has become and how detrimental that is to our environment, health and lifestyle.
My personal experience and that of many other parents indicates that financial issues and money are probably the great areas of arguments, disagreements, fights, stress and upsets for adults and children alike. When we fail to establish ground rules and talk about these issues on a regular basis it will lead to fights, hard feelings, resentment and upsets that have short and long term consequences.
A good foundation set in the early school years with a constant focus on constant improvement, person growth and self development leads to powerful progress and ultimately a great graduation from high school and college.
Most problems parents deal with during their child’s school years are created by the parents to begin with. Not designing and discussing a child’s education and empowerment needs on a regular basis can cause stain and stress for 12+ years. Parent spend a lot of time with their cameras, cars, careers, clothes, cell phones, computers, credit cards and yet neglect to invest the time creating a mastery action plan for their child’s education.
Remember that young students are most likely to follow their parent’s example and lead when it comes to adopting attitudes, behaviors and beliefs about education, learning, school and teachers. It is imperative for the parents to be a great inspiration and role model for their young students. When you walk the talk and lead by example it is much easier to show your children how to be a better student.
Our children are very much like a laptop computer or tablet and need us to be a guiding force to help them program their hard drive, operating system and software for emotional, mental physical and spiritual happiness and well being. The more we lead by example the easier it is for them to follow our lead.
We must provide for the optimal emotional, mental, physical and spiritual growth of young students in order for them to be super students throughout their school years. Children around the world are looking at what we do more than what we say so be sure you are leading by example and not giving lip service to what they should be doing. Children are our future leaders and legacy so we must invest the energy, money and time to provide them the resources and role models they need to be their best
Parenting Is An Art and Science
Parenting is the art and science of guiding your young student through the maze of challenges, detours, road blocks, speed bumps and U-turns that will test their determination and fortitude. The most important lessons we can share with them are the desire and determination to be happy, healthy and in harmony as you grow up. When you help them build a strong foundation you will also help insure their ability to continue on that path during their career, family and beyond.
By being a loving and loyal parent you empower them with the right stuff to overcome the challenges and be a better person. When parents help their children set clear goals, create mastery action plans and support their progress miraculous things happen. Our children learn best when they can role model our behavior, beliefs and best practices.
This Great NEWS post offers Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems by sharing simple steps and suggestions. Parenting youth involves the . With clear goals, mastery action plans and constant support parents can help their student be all they are meant to be. This post on Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Part 10 is offered to help parents assist their young students be super stars.
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Mastery Action Plan (MAP)
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Next week the Great NEWS blog will share:
Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Part 11:
Pre Teen Parenting Challenges