The previous Great NEWS post shared Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Part 12 – Teen Parenting Challenges and today we finish the series with Part 13 – Independent Adult Children Parenting Challenges. Parenting Adult Children is an important phase to master and understand. Parents who are able to help their adult children through transitions are a great resource. Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems – Part 13 will cover the adult children years which will last for decades.
After graduating from college one of our adult children decided to live at home while going to law school. This was a joint decision agreed upon in order for him to save money while utilizing his former room which was vacant. It was also a way for us to remain better connected and support him with his graduate education. Another of our adult children moved away while getting an advanced degree and incurred a lot of extra debt in the process. With today’s tough economic times there are many great reasons to open up the option of living at home to save money and be more resourceful.
Many adult children are returning home for periods of time to live due to a variety of reasons. How you relate with your adult children will depend greatly on the foundation you laid over the years. With a solid and strong foundation built on affirmation, appreciation, collaboration, communication, cooperation, discipline, gratitude, healthy habits, honesty, integrity, love, mutual admiration, nurturing, principles, respect, responsibility, team work, values and vision you will find the adult children years easier and enjoyable.
For parents that did not build a firm foundation and were less effective, efficient and empowered with their children during the key formative years this time can be a big challenge. These parents may experience and feel excessive anger, anxiety, depression, fear, frustration, guilt, sadness, upset and worry. For these parents when the adult children come home to live or visit this period may be the most challenging time of their lives. Without a strong family foundation adult children often find themselves confused, disoriented and lost in the challenging, complex and confusing world we live in.
The great news for all parents is that it is never too late to adapt, adjust and advance your parenting principles and skills to an even more rewarding level. Any parent can master smart skills, strategies, suggestions and systems to be a more effective, efficient and empowered parents. This will help you feel even closer, compatible and connected with your adult children.
Being a great parent involves being totally honest with them and yourself regarding what you have done well and what you could do even better as a parent. There is a fine line between treating them as your child and as mature adult children. Now that they have reached full adulthood you must adapt a different perspective and style than when they were teens. While they may lack the experience, judgment, life lessons, maturity, skills and wisdom you have gained over decades of being an adult they deserve your guidance and not a lecture. While they may feel more capable, mature and skilled than they actually are they still desire your respect and vote of confidence that they can do it. They also need more flexibility and freedom than you may be comfortable with.
Adult children may feel frustrated when treated like a child rather than a adult. As an adult they have full freedom of choice and consequences yet may lack enough time to hone these new skills to a fine edge. Adult children are facing important choices, complexities and consequences that may include: banking, career decisions, cars, college graduation, contracts, debt, health insurance, housing, living expenses, no college, post graduate work, retirement plans, savings and taxes without the background knowledge necessary. During this period our adult children are going through rapid acclimation and adjustment in every area of their life.
Many children today are pampered and protected by their parents a bit too much which deprives them of the opportunity to grow and learn some of the most valuable life lessons early on. Parents and students often learn that the best and easiest years of their life were the ones when they lived at home and went to school with most of their daily needs taken care of. With significant advancements in agriculture, education, food production, medicine and technology we find our selves in a time of more challenges, competition, complications, condemnation, conflict, confusion and consternation for our adult children and ourselves.
More than ever before now is the best opportunity for you to invest the energy, money and time to build even stronger communications, connections, convictions and cooperation with your children and adult children. During this time when there is tremendous change, growth and pressure on you and your children there is also the opportunity to be even closer and connected. Imagine the possibilities from turning parent pressure, peer pressure and school pressure into parenting principles, peer principles and school principles that allow your children to create diamonds from coal for the rest of their life.
Parents are encouraged to help their adult children navigate the constant change and challenges of the cyclones, floods, hurricanes, storms, tornados and typhoons that we call life. After they have faced the dragons and demons, Mother Nature and stormy seas they may be able to enjoy financial freedom, smooth sailing and stunning sunrises and sunsets. We must all learn to grow, play and work together as a terrific team in order to create a fantastic family.
Parents must move past the point of being the primary source of decisions, details and discipline for an adult child and turn over the reins to them regarding their life. While they may have a wild bucking ride and even be thrown off at times adult children need to learn how to control the reins and enjoy a great ride. Your role is to be the coach, guide, scout and trail master to assist them on their journey.
Parents will want to be an even more terrific team with a positive parenting partnership for their adult children should they find themselves in the role of grandparents helping the next family generation. Amazing adult children are usually the result of positive parents who avoid unnecessary conflicts, confusion and confrontations that weaken their communication and relationship with themselves and their children.
As we all know divorced parents and single parents face some extra challenges with parenting adult children. Adult children will be learning their parenting skills from their parents and many times do not have a good role model with an absent or afflicted parent. Adult children still need great mentors and role models to show them the way. Absent, addicted, deceased, divorced, incarcerated and troubled parents can be negative influences on adult children. They will need extra resources and role models to help them deal with the complex challenges and issues that show up.
A great message to share with your adult children is the concept of “collaboration, communication and cooperation”. When a family plays and works together well they are much more likely to be happy, healthy, in harmony and holistic in all areas of their wheel of life. Strong centers of influence and a stellar support system will also help guide parents and their adult children to the destiny they desire and deserve.
Adult children go through a radical readjustment period after leaving the security of the nest their parents provided. The real world demands extremely high levels of performance, persistence and personal tenacity to survive and thrive. The strains and stresses on adult children and parents can definitely test the bonds that hold them together. Families share in the failure or success of each member. Things can easily spin out of control quickly when any one person is dealing with overwhelming conditions so support and team work are essential. How well parents did prior to adult children leaving the nest will have a major influence on how well they do after leaving so continue to be there for moral support.
Independent Adult Children Parenting Challenges
Adult children will be eager and enthusiastic or fearful and frustrated about leaving the nest based on the absence or presence of peak parenting principles. The values, valor and vision you provide will be some of the most important factors. The behaviors, beliefs, rituals and routines parents embody usually determine how the adult children will ultimately turn out. You and your children will manifest what you consistently manage, measure and model so choose wisely.
Parents and their adult children will be well served to set a goal together to become even more effective and efficient at learning, listening and loving each other. When any person is talking or avoids talking be sure to really listen and read their body language to feel and see what they are saying. Any challenges or issues are best handled sooner rather than later. There is quite a bit of wisdom in the proverb “What you resist will persist”. Take action to resolve the issues while they are smaller and less complicated rather than allow them to grow into big, bad and ugly ones.
Parents are responsible for walking the talk and being great role models for their adult children. This allows them to be free to attain their dreams and goals without handling the burdens and unresolved issues of their parents. When you are happy, healthy and in harmony you have set them up to win the game of life and they will.
When parents are super star role models and walk the talk their adult children have a road map to follow for success and synchronicity. During times of adversity parents can step in to support or step up their own skills by applying more of their best peak parenting principles. When you are calm, centered, comfortable and confident with handling life’s curve balls your adult children will be able to do the same.
Continuing to apply Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) tapping on a consistent basis may be one of the most important skills you share with your children as they grow into adults. When the challenges and issues of life show up they are easier to deal with when you have a tool box full of terrific tools to help you resolve them. Adult children look to their parents for the skills, solutions, sources, strategies, support and systems necessary for dealing with life lessons. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) tapping is great tool for helping parents and their children to deal with unresolved emotional blockages, challenges, feeling, issues and thoughts.
Being a peak performance parent to adult children is an art and science. Be open to coaching, mentoring and training to help you master these life skills. There are many great resources and role models available to assist you with improving your abilities, aptitudes and attitudes.
It is imperative for you to continue to be an active, fit and healthy parent in order to show the way to being happy, healthy and in harmony for life. Doing your part to reinforce this message improves and promotes their energy, fitness, performance, vitality and well being. Manifesting a healthy body, mind and spirit is a vital role for parents to share with their adult children.
When you have been diligent at revealing the false puppet master behind the curtain of financially driven deceit and deception from the processed food industries your adult children will be better prepared to deal with the fake, fast and junk food risks. While processed foods may seem harmless we all know the real risks they pose to our emotional, financial, mental and physical health. Excess unhealthy carbs, fats and sugars slowly poison the body as they rob you of your wealth. Continue to promote nutrient dense organic whole foods for yourself and your adult children for peak health and performance.
Your adult children will continue to benefit from the budgeting, earning, financial, investment, money and saving skills your share with them. Life long learning is essential to leveraging your energy, money and time to maximize your return earnings and investments. Continue to include them in important family details, decisions and discussions to help them continue building the skills they need to be even more safe, secure and successful.
Parenting Adult Children Is An Art and Science
Applying proven parenting principles will help make major improvements in the least amount of time. Challenges and issues will always occur and it is up to you to be the beacon of light from the lighthouse showing them the way to a safe harbor. Different storms will threaten you and your adult children over time therefore it is essential everyone has done their part to establish a strong foundation and continue to reinforce the family structure to support and sustain the family for whatever occurs to test your preparedness.
This Great NEWS post is the final one on Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems. The goal was to share simple steps and smart suggestions that apply to each stage of preparing and raising a healthy family.. Parenting is much easier when you have proven parenting principles to utilize. SMART goals, mastery action plans and lots of Tender Loving Care (TLC) will help parents be proud parents with great children. This post on Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Part 13 offers peak parenting principles for you to raise super stars.
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