Life and Love Lessons Learned

July 29, 2010
How often during our busy days do we get caught in the rut and not see the forest for the trees? Imagine how much we miss in life when we are so frantic and hectic in our day to day lives we do not slow down to enjoy a great meal or stop to smell the roses.

Traveling in twelve countries in Europe on an EU Rail pass from May until July this year offered me the opportunity for some new life and love lessons learned. It was definitely a time for me to enjoy many great meals and smell lots of fragrant flowers and roses.

Fresh and Inquisitive Eyes

How often do we get so caught up in our daily routines and busy activities that we allow ourselves to become callous and closed to new ideas, information and insights? My mastermind peer group reminds me often to see things with fresh and inquisitive eyes and this is very powerful insight.

When we take off our glasses, reading glasses, sunglasses and other visual filters which alter and may even block our full natural view we are more likely to be open to seeing things fresh and anew.

It was very refreshing to experience many different cultures and notice human behavior and psychology as a tourist. We have much to learn from different cultures and people around the world about enjoying more of what life has to offer.

When is the last time you really enjoyed dancing, laughing, singing and trying new traditions outside your comfort zone and regular routine?

Whether you take an actual trip to another country or a virtual trip with a book, dance group, instrument, movie, theme dinner or community cultural activity be sure to capitalize on the opportunity to learn more about different cultures to expand your happiness, health and horizons.

Those Magic Moments

This blog post is dedicated to sharing Ten Tips to help a person discover more empowering epiphanies and magic moments in their life.

The eyes are the windows of the soul. Consider taking off your sunglasses and even other glasses and gently look people in the eyes when they are talking to you. When people are wearing sun glasses and you cannot see their eyes it is hard to determine if you are communicating well or not. You can build better rapport and enjoy a much closer connection when you talk with people and look into their eyes. You can read a lot from some ones body language by fully engaging your intuition and senses in the process.

Many people feel that they are not being heard and understood. In order to be a better listener and tune into what is being said gently rub your ears. This sends a physiological message to your brain and ears to listen up and tune in. Language and speech are incredible gifts and help us communicate more effectively. Even if the accent or language is unfamiliar to us we can gather more information by being a better listener. When someone is speaking to you take a moment to tune your body and senses into the message they are offering. Learn some words in a new language and show people you care about their community and culture.

Set the intention to be happy and smile when you talk to some one and watch their response. When you frown or scowl people are less likely to want to listen or help you. Based on how you act and look they may also be less likely to understand what you are saying. Based on the look on your face the other person is more likely to prejudge you and predetermine their level of eagerness in helping you. Especially when you feel confused, frustrated or upset it is important to take a minute and do a check up from the neck up to determine your facial expression and physical appearance.

First impressions have a major impact on our communications and perceived level of compatibility. Therefore it is always a great idea to have a variety of comfortable and natural ice breakers and opening lines available when you are meeting new people for the first time. You never know when or where the conversation may end up and how important that first impression will be. Many business and personal relationships never get a good chance to blossom due to annoying, aggravating or awkward first encounters.

Always introduce your self in a clear, engaging and friendly manner. To help you remember some ones name remember to immediately use it in a sentence that offers a genuine compliment about them. This helps you remember their name and set the stage for a more positive first impression. If for some reason you do not hear or understand their name clearly, be sure to ask again for pronunciation and even spelling. They are likely to be appreciative that you took the extra moment. This is a great way to help you remember their name and avoid the potential frustration later of now being sure. Our name is very special to each of us and it really builds rapport when we can pronounce someone’s name correctly.

Touch or the lack of touch is a very important source of communication and connection. We must be very careful and conscious when using touch or avoiding touch as a means of relating to others. Most cultures and people have very specific rules regarding appropriate and inappropriate levels of emotional and physical touch. Many cultures and people are very comfortable with coming in close proximity and physical touch during daily activities. In most of Europe it was very noticeable that many people are very comfortable with greater levels of physical connecting, hugging, kissing and touching.

Family, friends and even casual contacts often seem to be much more open and receptive to physical contact and connection as part of their communication process. It is very important to observe what others are doing and calibrate the body language of others to help you determine the appropriate degree of physical connection and contact. When in doubt it is OK to ask for guidance and permission regarding a hug or other physical gesture. It appeared that most people in Europe were more comfortable with close contact and had less personal space issues possibly due to the common condition of crowded cities, metros, restaurants, stores and trains. My experience and observations also indicate that most people really crave more contact and connection from their family and friends than they receive. A great tip is to ask if someone needs or wants a hug or other form of support and be ready to respond accordingly. Not all of us are mind readers and it is also good to remind them that it is OK for them to ask for what they want.

The state of your body, mind and spirit during a meal has a major impact on the quality of your happiness and health. If you are distracted, upset or stressed when you eat you will most likely find yourself feeling less than optimal energy, health and vitality in your everyday life. The profound wisdom we have heard many times “you are what you eat”. It is very important to also let people know that: “you are the result of how well you chew, digest, absorb, assimilate and eliminate what you eat”. As we now know from quantum physics everything we see, hear, taste, touch, smell and think affects every cell in our body. It is imperative to consciously plan and enjoy the best beverages and foods you can find to insure you nourish your body, mind and spirit. Be sure to relax, sit and thoroughly chew you food during each meal and enjoy a calm and peaceful environment.

It appears that one of the most common problems shared by many people around the world is the lack of feeling appreciated and loved for who they are and what they do. Many families and friends are in constant tension and turmoil with the very people they should be closest to. As you remember the famous song from the Beatles “All We Need is Love” be sure to think about these words of wisdom when connecting and communicating with your family, friends and others you interact with. Love and peace really are the foundations for happiness, health and harmony in our lives.

Many people are carrying around significant emotional event trauma and emotional wounds that are affecting their quality of life. When some one loses their temper, over reacts, yells or really act up it may very well be they have triggered an old emotional issue and response that has been building for many years. Energy psychology modalities and meridian tapping such Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) are great at providing easy, fast and terrific ways to help one to rebalance and re-energize their emotional and mental systems.

Many people seem to create overly stressful lives and hectic days followed by inadequate sleep and restless nights which can lead to adrenal exhaustion, burn out and depression. There are many reasons that so many people struggle with sleep depravation and sleep disorders. Excess alcohol/ food consumption, poor eating habits, excess weight and obesity, disturbing news or violent movies, lack of exercise and relaxation, medication side effects, over stimulation from bright lights and loud noises, non restful sleep environment, stress and worry and staying up too late are just a few of the many reasons that so many people suffer with sleep deprivation and disorders. Be sure to read my recent newsletter titled Too Much Stress and Too Little Sleep for specific strategies and suggestions to help.

It is frequently said “you cannot teach an old dog new tricks”. No one really wants to be referred to as an old dog so when would now be a great time to go out and learn specific skills and strategies to improve your ability to communicate and connect with others more effectively and efficiently? Imagine how much excitement and fun you can enjoy while you seek to discover your own life and love lessons learned. Remember “All You Need Is Love”

Our next blog post will share: Emergency Preparedness