The previous Great NEWS post warned about how Parasites Are Persistent Problems and today we begin a series on Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems. Children are one of the greatest challenges and greatest joys in life. Almost every parent on the planet would like a little help for parenting great children. We must study diligently and pass tests to drive a car, graduate from high school or fly a plane. Yet anyone can become parents and raise children without any parent certification, study, testing or training, How crazy is that? Therefore this article is devoted to educating and empowering parents with Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems.
When you stop to think about the problems in the world today with addictions, alcoholism, anger, bullying, crime, debt, depression, fear, illiteracy, low self esteem, obesity, poverty, sickness and violence you wonder how did things got to this point. While there are many factors contributing to these issues it is fair to say that they all are influenced by the way children are educated and raised to become adults.
Unfortunately peak parenting is not taught in most families, schools, colleges or jobs. How to be great parents and raise great children is an art and a science. Most of us receive our parenting skills from our parents who received their skills from their parents and so on up the family tree. Therefore we have parents replicating the same things their parents did regardless of how beneficial and wise or bumbled and woefully lacking that parenting process may have been
The real challenge occurs because each parent had different parent role models so a blended parenting version emerges. The father and mother have different ideas and thoughts regarding parenting styles yet very little of this is discussed until the children arrive one day. Then we may see a clash of different beliefs, ideas and styles come out which can be quite confusing for the child. Children learn quickly how to play up to each parent differently and develop a split personality responding to each parent based on their different styles.
While people may have good intentions to copy the best parenting principles and avoid the poor ones it is not as easy to do as it might first appear. Many parents replicate both the best and worst of their parents because that is what is programmed deep into their programming and psychology during childhood. The neuro-connections are pretty strong and well established so it is hard to avoid two decades worth of programming. No matter what the mind seems to be telling us our deep emotional, mental and physical programming is most likely to take top priority and dictate our behavior and habits.
Since our children are our future leaders, professionals and workers it is in our best interest and theirs that we do the very best we can at being great parents. Our children deserve a world better than what we have inherited and without all the excess baggage and problems that we are creating. Infants are helpless and totally dependent on adults and their parents to meet their needs. Therefore we must do whatever is humanly possible to give them the best education, guidance, love and support possible.
Rules and Values Set By Age 7
Most of our emotional, mental and physical self image and values are set by the time we are age seven. Therfore it is essential for parents to learn the best practices and peak performance parenting principles possible before the children are born to insure the best change for happiness, health and harmony in the family. Learning and mastering peak parenting principles must be one of the highest priorities of communities and societies. Parenting skills can be integrated into all aspects of life and demonstrated and taught in businesses, cities, colleges, families and school systems as the fabric that holds everything together. A culture is only as strong and successful as children that become the future adults.
When there is an absence of quality education and parenting principles society ends up allowing mixed messages and muddled minds. There are different sources of influence that come to bear with children and parents making things even more complicated. Parenting needs to be a sensitive, smart and supported profession by: agencies, business, film, government, media, organizations, parents, religious groups, schools, teachers and TV. Too often parents feel they are competing with outside mega influences determined to make raising children even harder than it already is.
We would all benefit from placing special emphasis on picking peak partners and being super spouses since raising children together calls for total teamwork. Additional focus should start even before conception to insure the parents are in the best emotional, mental and physical health prior to conception for the highest probability for happy and health children. There is no higher priority than providing the healthiest conception and development period for a developing child. Parents need to understand that this is one of the most important roles in life and do whatever they possibly can to insure their health and that of future children.
Many children are born without preconception planning and this is turning into one of the biggest challenges and sources of potential problems to come. Teenage children are having children before they have become mature and responsible enough to raise them. Men and women are trashing their bodies with chemicals, fake foods, junk foods and toxins and then surprised when the children have behavior and health issues. Many expectant moms are blimping out, gaining two or three times a healthy weight gain and not following prenatal guidelines for their health and that of the developing child. We will all benefit from making our personal happiness and health a top priority.
Many dead beat men are fathering children without the responsibility for raising the children. Many single moms are having multiple children often with different fathers beyond their ability and means to take care of them. Other couples get divorced early on and use the children as pawns in their chaotic lives filled with drama. These irresponsible actions and behaviors set the children up for challenges and issues even before they are born and for sure during their life. Children from preconception through conception, child birth and beyond are being programmed by the biological, chemical, emotional, mental and physical conditions of the father and mother before, during and after birth.
Many adults have children in order to fill gaps, hurts, voids and wounds they have not resolved for themselves. Obviously this is not good for them or future children. Adults and future parents should be happy, healthy and whole for themselves first before they decide to procreate and bring another being into the world. Children are a life long commitment not a by product of a few minutes of passion and pleasure or source of cheap labor and financial security. We are living in a world that has failed to realize that we are expanding beyond our biological, ecological and financial ability to coexist in harmony and peace due to limited sustainable food, land and resources.
Everything we feel, hear, see, think, eat, taste and come in contact with affects every cell in our body. That includes all the experiences of the father and mother which is coded into the child’s DNA and RNA as well as their biological, chemical, emotional, mental and physical programming. We are more similar to the complex hard drive, operating system and software of computers than we realize. Everything affects how our body and mind will function for the rest of our life time.
Prevent Problems with Peak Parenting Principles
Low self esteem is one of the biggest challenges children face today. Due to intense competition, compliance, conditions, conforming and control by bosses, bureaucrats, coaches, institutions, managers, parents, politicians, presidents, professors and teachers in every area of a child’s life they are being given direct and indirect signals that they are not good enough just the way they are. From beauty pagans, businesses, colleges, fashion, grades, jobs, scholarships, schools and sports we set them up to fail or pass, lose or win, be first place or not, be the best or prettiest or not. All the while this high pressure lifestyle is doing damage to their self esteem and self worth. What happened to unconditional love and support for being their gifted, natural and unique self?
Good self esteem and self worth are key values to help instill in children from an early age. Children deserve unconditional acceptance, love and support. You can be most helpful by creating direct, honest, open and safe communications and environment to allow your children to learn first hand about the world around them in a safe and supportive way. When they ask you a question give them a direct, honest, open and safe response. Too often parents tell fibs, tall tales or white lies thinking they are helping or protecting their children. Telling any lies or untruths to children teaches them to lie and tell untruths. There is no Easter Bunny, Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy so why not tell them from the beginning it is just a story to entertain, make believe and pretend for fun.
Be sure to walk the talk. Be congruent in your actions, deeds and words. Children learn best by parroting and role modeling their parents and siblings so be consistent from the beginning and always focus on doing the right thing for the child. Chiclren are a gift and we can learn a lot from them as they mirror the world around them. Children are a direct reflection of their parents and grandparents so be clear in advance and communicate what is acceptable and not acceptable when it comes to the children. Too many times the guidelines and parenting principles are not clearly spelled out early on so different people have different beliefs about how to treat the children which results in confusion and upsets. The children deserve fairly consistent guidelines so they are not caught in the middle of adults who cannot agree and be congruent.
Businesses, cities, computers, driving, games and schools all have rules to follow so why not have some basic rules that everyone in the family learns to follow to foster cooperation and getting along. While fewer rules are better than too many rules it is important to create a family rule book so that each member knows what is acceptable and what is not. By being communicated, consistent, continuous and constantly reviewed it makes it easier for all members to play by the rules and have more cooperation, freedom from strife and fun.
When there are too many rules or the rules are inconsistent or vague it leads to strain and stress in the family which fosters ill will and upsets. It is also important for the rules to be adjusted and modified over time to fit the age and maturity level of the individual children. Many of the rules for the seven year old are different than for a fourteen year old yet the ones for each age are best when consistent for all family members. When you forget the rules and allow a two year old to skip naps and stay up late you are causing problems for them and yourself at the same time. When families miss meals together the communications and connections starts to break down resulting in isolation and separation. It is essential for families to eat, play, pray and stay together as consistently as possible.
Healthy behaviors, habits and rituals are key for nurturing families and individuals. There is no substitute for quality time and quality relationships. In pursuit of chasing the almighty paper currency families have become delusional and divided. Many parents are stressing, struggling and working excessively to keep up with the Jones and live a lifestyle they cannot afford long term and maintain a healthy family. Once you get too conditioned to the rat race and too far in debt it can be almost a mission impossible challenge to stop the addiction and start leading a saner and simpler lifestyle.
Take something as simple as eating your five fruits and veggies a day. Most people do not and even delude themselves into thinking that French fries and ketchup counts for two of them. People believe a glass of juice is as good as the fruit itself and that some minute lettuce, pickle and tomato on a burger or sandwich counts as a serving. People are so far off base on healthy eating that they have little chance of energy, health and taking care of themselves let alone a child.
When you give children fake foods loaded with additives, artificial sweeteners, chemicals, colorings, dyes, flavor enhancers, GMO’s, processed oils and preservatives you are filing their bodies with harmful substances that alter their emotional, mental and physical development. Unhealthy choices include such things as: brownies, cake, candy, cereal, chips, cookies, crackers, formula, fruit drinks, Gatorade, granola bars, high fructose corn syrup, ice cream, juice, ketchup, pancakes, pies, popsicles, sodas, sugar, treats and more sugar. Is it really a surprise when they have behavior, focusing, health, learning and weight problems?
Parents have created the majority of the issues the children are now developing and dealing with. ADD, ADHD and obesity as well as sugar, alcohol and drug addictions all start from the actions, beliefs and behaviors of the parents. The children struggle with these body and mind altering compounds and then the parents look for “experts” for help dealing with children that out of control and struggling with complex challenges. Most of the professionals being sought are giving false or poor guidance due to financial disincentives, ignorance, lack of awareness, misinformation or profit incentives. This broken, misguided and outdated family model, health care system and health model is dragging down the modern civilized society as we know it.
Other things you can do for your children includes reading to them during development and beyond. Teach them the benefits that come with a love for reading, thinking and writing. Encourage them to be mentally and physically active every day. Our bodies deserve the best feelings, food and fuel we can provided. You are what you do, eat, hear, say, see and think so choose wisely.
Help them learn to be conscious and curious about their bodies, health, vitality and world around them. When they are happy, healthy and in harmony with the world around them than everything seems to work out better. People that are disconnected, disillusioned, disjointed and distracted become disassociated from family and friends and are more likely to feel alone, angry, anxious, depressed and sad. Being connected to the earth, foods, moon, nature, plants, sun and universe allows one to flow in the rhythm of life.
This Great NEWS post offers simple strategies and suggestions to help with Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Every parent wants to do the best they can yet we all need basic, intermediate and advance training courses on Parenting to be better educated and prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. Reading “How to Books” on parenting are helpful yet most parents prefer to learn by trial and error rather than role model and study from the best parents possible. This post on Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems is designed to help parents focus on the most important priorities for being great parents raising great children.
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Next week the Great NEWS blog will share:
Parenting Principles for Preventing Problems Part 2